Conversations with Jesus: Doubtful Conversations

Sometimes we are involved in conversations that remind us of our less than glorious experiences in life, conversations that lead us towards healing, reconciliation and eventually restoration. This weekend we’re going to peek into two conversations that Jesus had with two of his disciples right after His resurrection. These conversations show the heart of Jesus and His capacity to forgive and restore his friends ​who had​ drifted or bolted away.

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    Haunani Komene says

    I can’t thank u enough for this message, I didn’t even know what it was going to be about and now after watching I believe it’s true God knows and he hears us and I feel my faith has been restored. My family and I r members at C4 but we haven’t been around for a while…our last attendance was in January this year and before that we were missing a lot of church due to me being on bedrest during a rough pregnancy with our third child. After she was born in January “life” happened and I found it easier to watch or listen to sermons online, but usually I’d watch Pastor Wayne with my husband on Sundays and then I’d watch Joyce Meyer, Joel Osteen and Jimmy and Karen Evans on my own (I’ve always followed them since before becoming a member of New Hope and then C4) So needless to say I became pretty lazy with attending church because it was just easier not too with 3 kids under the age of 4 and a husband who works 80+ hours a week including Sundays. I still prayed and talked to God on a regular basis, I wasn’t completely consistent with my daily devotions but I read Gods word when I made time to do so, usually right before bed and with my girls. Just a quick background, I was raised as a Mormon as a child and then turned atheist when I was about 13 because I had never felt God or had a relationship with Him, after some pretty epic life events I came to know the Lord and gave my heart to Christ in 2001 when I was 17 and I never looked back, my life has been a series of blessings since then and for years I was always hungry for His word and I just wanted to soak up as much as I could…going to every church conference and reading every Christian book I could get my hands on…fast forward to about 2009 I lost that hunger but I still loved the Lord with all my heart and still prayed and depended on Him for everything, He was still strong in my life and I considered myself to have faith that could move a mountain…until recently…about 3 months ago my mother in law shared a video on YouTube with me, it was titled “create your own reality” by a lady named Dolores Cannon. I watched it and felt instantly drawn to and hooked on what this woman was teaching so I watched more of her videos and documentaries, around the same time I had an Aunty send me a video on Facebook to sign up for a “Mindvalley Academy Workshop” hosted by Michael Beckwith…so whenever I had time to listen and learn I was doing so while my mother in law was here, she would help me watch the kids and I would watch these videos that her and I both felt drawn to learn more about. But it was almost instant, I felt a difference in my faith strait away, listening and watching that information made me question my beliefs. I mean before all that info I knew that I knew that I KNEW God was real and in control of everything, but then I started to feel like that wasn’t the case. I started feeling like “maybe there’s more they’re not telling us in church” “maybe my mind is really powerful and I can attract positive or negative things into my life through my thoughts” “maybe I’m meant to try this so I can control the outcomes of certain situations i.e. Healing my body, attracting favor, relieving stress, choosing to have a great day…etc” but the more I learned the more distant I felt from God, I noticed instead of watching my sermons which I used to love and felt I could never get enough of, I was spending all my free time watching Dolores Cannon and learning about her teachings which made me question my faith but became addicting because I felt I needed to know more about it. So lately I’ve been doubting, and if u were to ever ask me if I doubted my believes 4 months ago I would swear up and down to u that that would NEVER happen. But here I am, it’s now 5am and I’ve been awake since 2:30 because a demon came into my room where me and my babies were sleeping and it attacked my 8month old first and when I went after it, it attacked me too…(sorry if that sounds crazy but just remember Ephesians 6:12 says “For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places.”) ok so back to my story it’s 2:30am and we’re rudely awaken by this evil demonic spirit who thinks he has the right to come into our home and attack my family! Now…bringing it back to basics we all know there’s power in His name, so I start fighting by saying Jesus over and over again until I felt another spirit in the room over my right shoulder and this spirit takes the demon off me and out the window it flees. I spent the next 5min speaking in tongues and rebuking evil spirits LOL …Ok so my husband is sleeping in the other room and I text him all shook up and mad and tell him “hey I noticed I haven’t been praying over our family for the past few days and then this happens” then I asked him if he could step up and pray over us when he comes home at 2am from work because God hears my prayers but it’s especially powerful if it’s coming from the head of the household. He agreed, he apologized because he had his headphones on and didn’t hear any of the commotion (Auwe, really?!) sorry I’m getting to a point here…back to there is power in His name. Once I got the girls settled again I started making my to do list for tomorrow and at the top of the list was FAST AND PRAY AND BLESS THE HOUSE. Then it came…the thoughts of “why have I been doubting and why do I still feel like I don’t believe anymore” and if all that stuff I’ve been listening is true then why is this happening? It got really real really quick tonight, I was reminded of all the things I’ve learned as a Christian, all the things that I’ve been questioning recently were at the forefront of my mind and it was driving me nuts. I had faith but I felt it disappearing because of all this new information I stumbled upon. All those days standing in the shower or driving in the car and having a quick conversation with God telling Him “I’m so sorry God I know u exist but I don’t feel the same about the level of my faith, I don’t know what to believe anymore please draw me closer to u, please forgive me if I’m wrong” I think I said that to Him maybe 10 times in the last 3 months. After being exposed to this “new age” way of thinking I doubted my beliefs…I mean I actually DOUBTED! I can’t even believe I’m saying that as I would never imagine being here in this moment writing about my doubt as a beleiever in Christ?! Anyways, so as I was writing my to do list for tomorrow at 3am I had this thought, this strong urge to get online and watch a message, I didn’t care what it was going to be about, I didn’t even see the title of it, I just clicked on the very first sermon video I saw. Half way through the message I was already crying, I could feel Gods presence and I knew he was talking to me through this message, this sermon brought me back to where I needed to be, it reminded me of my faith when I was still a baby in Christ, how sometimes I wasn’t sure if God was real and at my last moment of despair He would show up and speak to me clear as day, I would hear His voice or He would talk to me through someone else or even the weather…genuine God given moments created just for me because He loves me. Before this message I had forgotten all about that, and tonight He spoke to me again through you! It was the answer to my prayers of confusion and doubt. Thank you. Today is a new day and I’m going to do all I can to stay grounded in my faith, thank you Jesus, Amen:)

  2. Reply
    Haunani Komene says

    Sorry my comment was so long! Lol NOVEL LONG! My bad😬🙏🏽😇

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